Facetiæ

Fa·ce·ti·ae n. pl. Witty or humorous writings or sayings

Famous collections:

• Poggio Bracciolini, Facetiæ
• Heinrich Bebel, Facetiæ
• Facetiae Facetiarum, hoc est, Joco-Seriorum Fasciculus.
• Nugae Venales

Johannes Adelphus (Johannes Muling, 1485-1523). A Strasbourg humanist, who wrote 82 facetiæ.

The joke here on the right makes fun of a priest's ignorance of the Latin language: calix vs. calicem.

Reproduced from an appendix in Facetiarum Heinrici Bebelii, printed by Ulrich Morhard in 1557 (Tübingen).

This collection of facetiae was always published with false imprints (1615, 1627, 1645, 1647, 1657, 1697, ?).

The 1645 edition of this book was printed at Leiden, by Elzevier (probably Philippe de Croy). The title page however shows: Pathopoli, Apud Gelastinum Severum. The pictures on the right show the device on the title page (top), and that of a 1649 Seneca edition from Elzevier in Leiden (bottom). The Elzeviers used their Non Solus device for most publications, but for this book they removed the text and figure (although you can still see his feet).

By Buldrianus Sclopetarius (pseud.). The passage on the right has been marked with red pencil in our copy (out of the Jesuits' Collegio Romano library), and reads as follows (freely translated):

5. Is the dignity of the person farting somewhat of influence on the fart? For example, whether the fart of the Pope is more worthy than that of someone of the rank of priest, both in magnitude and character of the arising?
Resp. Because of the following. For example of the Pope or some emperor nobody blames the rattling, but all approve with acclamation. Because otherwise others of lower rank, sometimes also on account of it, against all the laws though, are punished. For the laws the natures are unchangeable, and with the bad habit of the most unimportant being accused of it.

Reproduced (p. 97) from Facetiae Facetiarum, hoc est, Joco-Seriorum fasciculus, printed in Frankfurt (Francofuerti ad Moenum), 1615.

This poem was written by Père Jean Sirmond (1589-1649):

Si bene commemini, causæ sunt quinque bibendi:
Hospitis adventus; præsens sitis atque futura;
Et vini bonitas, et quælibet altera causa.

Uno von Troil (1746-1803, Archbishop of Uppsala, Sweden) wrote it down in his (1645) copy of the Facetiae Facetiarum (see pictures on the right), when he was a student in Uppsala in 1766. He must have read this poem in Gilles Ménage's (1613-1692) Menagiana (published in 1693):

It is often wrongly attributed to Henry Aldrich (1647-1710), who wrote the English translation:

If on my theme I rightly think,
There are five reasons why men drink:
Good wine; a friend; because I'm dry;
Or lest I should be by and by;
Or any other reason why.

Cattorum canimus certamina clara canumque
Calliope concede chelyn; clariæque Camoenæ
Condite cum cytharis celso condigna cothurno
Carmina: certantes canibus committite cattos,
Commemorate canum casus casusque catorum,
Cumprimis causas certamina cuncta creantes.
Currentem cupide cruda cum carne catellum
Conspexere cati captique cupidine coenæ
Comsprendunt catulum, capiunt coguntque carere
Carne, canis clamor complebat compita', cuncti
Confluxere canes; conamina cruda catorum
Conqueritur catulus, captas carnesque cibosque
Commemorat; cunctis cum cognita causa catellis,
Concilium cogunt, canus calvusque culinæ
Custos Castrutio cathedram conscendere celsam
Coepit, cumque canum consedit concio, causa
Communis, clamat, comites, commune ciebat
Concilium: coeunt crudelia corpora catti
Contrectantq; canum carnes complentq; culinam.
Contemnunt catulos; contemnunt? cedere cogunt.
Corpora corripiunt, contestaturque cicatrix
Cæcilii catuli conamina cruda catorum
Conniveat causaque cadat careatque culina
Clara caterva canum? citius contendere cursu
Cum cervo cancer cupiet citiusque canorus
Cogetur creperis Cygnus cessisse cicadis
Cur catuli cur cessamus? conjungite castra,
Conveniant campo catti, certamine claro
Contendant cui conveniat censura culinæ
Collaudare canes cani coepere cerebri
Consilium, Ceneus cum Castilione creatur
Centurio. Cernunt catti crudele cieri
Certamen, coeunt carti conflantque cohortes.
Callimedonta caput campi columenque Catorum
Consilium communecreat, curamque capessit.
Cumque coëgissent catuli cattique catervas,
Certamen campestre catis campestre catellis
Complacuit, currêre citi cursuque citato
Convenere canes, cum conspexere catellos
Cattorum cuneata cohors, concurrere coepit
Candida canenti cum Castilione Camauce,
Conculcata cadit clarumque cruore colorem
Corrumpit. coeunt certamine Casea Colaxque
Casca colorato, candenti corpore Colax,
Casca Colaxque cadunt, carus Condoq; Coquoq;
Captaneus claram cupiens convellere Callam
Conficitur. Catilina cadit, capiturque Cerastus
Cumque Capo Canaus celebris commilito claudi
Cromvelli, cum coepisset contingere castra
Crantor corruerat cunctoque cruore carebat
Confectus cursu. confligit Claudia cæco
Cum Cephalo. curvam Clebuli Caronia caudam
Convellit. Cum cattorum coeunte caterva
Colligeret cunctas Canape Chionæa cohortes,
(Clara canis Canape campo Custosque cubilis
Callimachi) coepitque canum convertere cursus
Corbulo consuetis contritus colla catenis;
Certatur, cæsis colles camposque cruetant
Corporibus, colluctantur caudis cubitisque
Cattorumq; canumq; cohors, celeberrima Cauce
Cum cedens campo claudo cum crure cucurrit
Coepissentque canes cattorum cingere cornu;
Currite, clamabat Caronia, currite catti,
Consicimur capimurque, canes coepere cruenti
Clauso certantes cuneo circumdare cattos.
Cernite constrato cumulata cadavera campo.
Cernite calcantes cattorum colla catellos:
Cedamus campum canibus, causaque Cadamus
Continuo caiti cedunt cursuque citato
Condita conantur celeres contingere castra,
Cum consternari cattos, cum corde carere
Conspexere canes, conclamavere citoque
Conglomerata cohors certat contendere cursu
Cum Cattis, capiunt cattorum castra catosque
Complures, captos coenoso carcere claudunt
Connexis cruciant caudis cumulantque catenis.
Centeni cecidere cati, cessere cruenti
Centeni, claudit centum custodia captos:
Concinno comitum celebrantes carmine cladem
Complaudunt catulisque canes, canibusq; catelli;
Constituunt certas captivis conditiones:
Cum canibus coeat Cattis Concordia: coenis
Captivi careant catti, cedantque culinia (no)
Cum coquitur, cineres captent, caleantq; cami-
Cernere contenti completos carne catellos.
Captivi canibus cito consensere, canesque
Carcere confracto cum cattis conciliantur.
Colle cavo comitum congesta cadavera condunt
Cattorumq; canumq; cohors curantq; cruentos
Complexi catulos catti cattosque catelli
Civili certant cauda, cubitisque cohærent:
Cantatur, crudam claudunt convivia cædem,
Cunctaque composito cessat certamine clades.